Preparing for the Apocalypse

Doomsday Shopping

If the President were to go on TV and tell the world a 5-mile-wide asteroid was headed for our planet, the following ten items are the first things I’d shove in my cart at the Giant Eagle grocery store…

Cheese --Yesssssss!!!!!

Cheese –Yesssssss!!!!!

Cheese: Did you know that some cheeses stored in wax can last 25 years? Shee-it. I had no idea. I’ve had a lifelong committed relationship with cheese, and I’m not about to get a divorce now.

Peanut butter: Because nom.

Pasta: If the apocalypse comes, then screw the diet. I’m eating all the spaghetti and mac&cheese I want.

Tomato sauce/Spaghetti sauce: Pasta without sauce sucketh.

Salsa: Because bland is boring, and spice is nice.

Potato flakes: Unless I can have real potatoes. I simply cannot go on if potatoes don’t exist in some form.

Applesauce: I don’t want no stinkin’ homemade crap. I’m going to have all the Target Market Pantry no-sugar-added applesauce I can fit into the trunk of my car.

Cinnamon: Great on toast. Great in applesauce. Great in Tea.

Vitamins: I hate just about everything. So, yeah.

English Breakfast Tea: Cases and cases of it. It has to be that kind. Don’t even try to sneak Earl Gray past me.

Plus An entire room devoted to cat food, cat treats, cat toys, cat litter, and anything and everything baby wants. Cuz that’s how I roll.

DISCLAIMER: In all seriousness, there are people out there who are genuinely committed to preparing for unforeseen emergencies, including but not limited to work layoffs, natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina, catastrophic rain-outs like the ones that swept away roads and bridges in New England a few years ago. On that occasion, etire communities were cut off from any type of vehicle getting in or out. In fact, in some earthquake-prone places like California, people are encouraged to keep a certain amount of food on-hand for just such emergencies. My list here is for entertainment purposes and for my readers to get to know me a little better. I’m in no way making fun of those individuals who prepare ahead for bad things that realistically could happen.

If you are interested in this subject, a basic online search will reveal quite a few lists composed by experts for those interested in preparing for possible long-term emergencies. They include things like evaporated and/or dry milk, wheat, rice, vegetable oil, dried spices, dried fruits and vegetables, sugar, a variety of canned meats …. The list is long. Loooong.

But cheese is by far the most important item on mine.

…And I don’t care what Rose sister says. I shall have to get a goat.


Published by Flowers & Fullerton

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